Civil Engineers Called In To Look For Signs Of Collapse

Civil engineering teams were today called in to inspect Ken Dryden's brain for signs of impending collapse. Sources tell The Doggerel Party that concern has been mounting recently, after reports of long, unwieldy and poorly constructed sentences on his website at www.kendryden.ca. Some examples of the kinds of statements that have the public worried:

“The Kelowna accord was the right approach. Kelowna wasn’t an easy thing to build to. It takes a long time to build to a Kelowna. It was not just a principle, it was the emotion behind the principle. Lots of principles are just the words that they are. This came with a determination.”

"Be focused on your long-term goal. Be disciplined and dedicated to the tasks at hand. What makes you a success in one arena can be applied to another with equal results. Success can come at any part of your career, early or late. The key is to take the lessons learned from it and to use in other parts of your life."

"We have developed an understanding that has allowed our differences to survive and thrive, that allows a bilingual and multicultural society to work."

One expert said, "We believe these thoughts may just be too poorly organized to sustain their own weight in the long term," adding that the substantial weight of clichés found in Dryden's thinking is compounding the risk.

As attention has shifted to the building of new, larger structures such as Michael Ignatieff, Ken Dryden has been deprived of the support needed to avoid gradual decay and collapse. The public is urged to keep a safe distance and observe warning signs.