It has recently come to my attention that, in your capacity as Chief Medical Officer of Health for the City of Ottawa, you are actively promoting strategies of harm reduction for those suffering from addictions in the city. In particular, I note your vigorous defence of the City's free crack pipe program recently.
In that spirit, I am writing to suggest some improvements that I think could be made to the program. In particular, as someone whose parent is addicted to fine wines, I think that the City should seriously consider the introduction of a Riedel Stemware distribution program to help those in the community who find themselves trapped in the grip of unscrupulous vintners.
While on the subject, I also think that we should remember that people like my parent often over indulge in red wines the night before and therefore need help and support the following morning. To that end, I propose a Starbucks Card distribution program, supported by free Starbucks go-cups.
These strategies would go a long way to easing the burden of pain and suffering that I suffer daily.
With thanks for all that you do for this great City, I remain,
Angie The Corgi
Deputy Leader, The Doggerel Party of Canada