Monday, June 23, 2008

EXCLUSIVE: The Moon Report Obtained By TDPC

Doggerel Party Exclusive: OTTAWA, Monday June 23, 2008: TDPC has obtained an advance copy of the Moon Report on the Canadian Human Rights Commission.

The report, packaged in a glossy brochure picked out in tasteful shades of gray, introduces the concept of The Rights ShiftTM. The executive summary begins:

"We will raise the costs of the things we all want less of - Maclean's magazine, criticism of the HRCs, anyone to the right of Stephane Dion on the political spectrum, Americans, truth, freedom, natural justice and any challenge to the supremacy of the glorious junta who will in future be responsible for telling all Canadians their prescribed opinions.

We will lower the cost of the things we all want more of: Richard Warman, radical Islamists, bureaucrats, corruption, entrapment, raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens."

CHRC operatives will be tasked with identifying the major emitters of free speech, and pricing their emissions with an appropriate scale of fines. The report stresses that this is not going to be a fine on individual Canadians: "Canadians will still enjoy the freedom to speak at no cost, for example when ordering coffee in the morning. Only those Canadians who emit right-wing political discourse will notice an increase in their cost of living."

The report offers a number of examples of how the new regime might change the personal situation of individual Canadians:

"Mr. W. K., Toronto, Ontario

Mr K. is a friendly, right (not Right!!) thinking blogger and political activist. Under the new plan, his financial situation will remain unchanged, as he does not emit anything that would need to be fined and has not, as yet, needed to request credits from the HRCs for any impact from anyone else's emissions.

Mr. R.W., Ottawa, Ontario.

Mr. R.W. is a lawyer by day and a caped, crusading superhero by night (and by day as well, on occasions). He stands to benefit from the new regime, and will likely see his personal income rise by approximately $100,000 per year in HRC fines and penalties. And all of this tax free!

Mr E.L., Edmonton, Alberta.

Mr. E.L. is unworthy of description, but is likely to experience a significant drop in his personal income as the new regime will punish his temerity in airing opinion with a series of legal proceedings, lawyers' fees and fines.

Mrs. X., Ottawa, Ontario.

Mrs. X is a black, disabled, lesbian mother of six, who has been unemployed for eight years. Under the new plan, she will be better off, as she will immediately be hired as an emissions investigator by the CHRC and paid a substantial salary. She will also be given retraining in computer skills, especially in the areas of online identity theft, network hacking and how to write like a Nazi.

The Rights ShiftTM will be entirely revenue neutral, as everything we take from those nasty right-wing writers and their magazines will be given to Mr. R.W. of Ottawa, Ontario."

Friday, June 20, 2008

Liberals, Please Help With This Math

This is a serious question to any liberals who might be reading. I've gone through the Green Shift Handbook and looked at the figures and I have a problem. The Carbon Tax is going to be $40 per tonne of CO2, and the Liberals say they will collect $15,342,000,000 in year 4. That would correspond therefore to emissions of 383,550,000 tonnes of CO2.

Canada's 2004 emissions were 639,403 tonnes. I couldn't readily find more recent data but Liberals like to tell us it's rising, so let's use 2004 as a conservative (no pun intended) estimate.

That would mean the Carbon Tax as planned is expected to nearly halve emissions in just four years. Given that the trend might still be upward, how realistic is that? It's far more likely that emissions will remain close to their 2004 levels for several years, until industry makes the necessary long term and structural changes to make serious reductions. So far from collecting "only" $15bn, the Liberals will almost certainly take in closer to $30bn by year 4 of this new tax.

They give $15bn back to their favorite demographic groups (can you spell L-i-b-e-r-a-l V-o-t-e-r-s?) That leaves another $15bn they'll collect, and where will that go? What will the effect be of taking that additional $15bn out of the economy?

I'd like some Liberals to have a go at this. Explain the math. Explain how the expected reduction in emissions was calculated and explain why it's not a shell game. Explain where the missing billions will go (apart from the requisite few million that will be stolen and put into Liberal party coffers).

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

A Little Educashun, With Dr. Darren Lund

Ezra Levant has been doing an excellent job of tracking the Alberta Human Rights Commission's disposition of the case of the Rev. Stephen Boissoin, most recently in this post. As Ezra points out, the AHRC has ordered Boissoin to apologize to the complainant in the case, Dr. Darren Lund. Lund is quoted in the Red Deer Advocate as saying "I certainly didn’t request an apology, so that was a bit of a surprise. I don’t see the value in an insincere apology."

In common with other well known HRC complainants, it appears Dr. Lund has trouble with certain aspects of the truth, like telling it, for example. His original complaint expressly asks the AHRC to force Boissoin's apology. The complaint can be found here.

The scent of a rat always gets the corgis going, so they were off on the trail of Dr. Lund before you could say "identifiable group." So who is Dr. Darren Lund?

He's a former high-school teacher and now an assistant professor at the University of Calgary. His homepage can be found here, along with a fetching photograph. In the homepage summary, it states that "His research, activism and teaching focuses on social justice issues in schools and communities."

[Editorial note: I always thought universities were for primarily for education, but apparently that now falls second to 'activism' in order of importance.]

Go read it all... you'll soon figure the good Dr. out. It's the standard human rights industry CV. A couple of highlights stood out for me, however. In the summer 2006 edition of the Alberta Journal of Educational Research, Dr. Lund wrote an article in which the title describes Alberta as "the Heartland of Hate." So much for his 'activism' against sterotyping.

The rest of his work is devoted to encouraging his 'social-justice' agenda in the classrooms of Alberta and the nation. Dressed up in the usual diarrhea-like verbage of his trade, what he's really all about is small l-liberal political indoctrination in the classroom.

The mere fact of the existence of such programs signifies what's wrong with Canada's education systems - never mind the fact that students don't have enough textbooks, or have crumbling schools - the $128,000 that Dr. Lund alone has received for his research over the last three years will ensure that by Gaia, they have social justice and the bloated, bureaucratic, self-important, tin-pot dictators he's educating to enforce it.

Not that Dr. Lund is in favour of just anyone having access to the classrooms of the nation to spread their views, mind you. Diversity is one thing, but you can't let everyone in. He spent a lot of time and effort last year trying to kill the Operation Christmas Child fundraising efforts in Alberta's schools, because, spirit-creator-Allah-God-Jehovah-Gaia-Vishnu forbid, they have a Christian connection. And after the whole sorry Human Rights Commission fiasco we know how Dr. Lund feels about Christians.

Diversity for everyone! Muzzle the Christian!

Monday, June 16, 2008

Democracy Bites. Reality Stings.

The Ottawa Citizen reports the failure of an attempted coup d'etat at the Ottawa Humane Society by members of the grandly named campaign to Reform the Ottawa Humane Society.

This campaign which, as we have documented previously, is composed in equal measure of uneducated warm and fuzzy moonbats and professional rabble-rousers, failed in its bid to elect six new members to the board of the Humane Society.

This leaves the OHS in the capable hands of caring, compassionate, hard-working volunteers who, while they may love animals, also live in the real world. TDPC hopes that the Reform the OHS crowd might join the rest of us in that world now.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

In Praise Of The Pipe

Some readers will have spotted that here at TDPC we tend toward traditional views of many things. There's a reason for this, and it bears pointing out to those who so love to label themselves with that most misleading of political epithets: "Progressive". Far from considering "traditional" to be a pejorative, we at TDPC consider it a compliment, because things didn't get to be traditional unless they worked in some way, had something to offer, or were just... smart. New ideas get tested, the good ones are the ones that last. And we call this tradition.

Some of our traditions are under constant challenge; nothing wrong with that - if they are good enough, they will survive. Others are in danger of dying out not from challenge, but from neglect. These are of more concern. We like to do our bit here to keep these things going, and so I am pleased to announce that I have now taken up pipe smoking.

I became an occasional smoker at age 14, and it was my mother's doing. My father was a pipe smoker for most of his adult life, but on occasion would enjoy a good cigar, most notably at Christmas. The family tradition arose that the youngest child would buy Dad the Christmas cigar. That youngest child was me, after I arrived on the scene. The Christmas when I was 14, my father had died in the preceding October. Consider my surprise, therefore, when I was duly presented with the cigar on Christmas day, and told that, since the house would not be the same without the aroma of Dad's Christmas cigar, it would henceforth be my duty to smoke it.

From then on, I've always enjoyed the occasional cigar, and with much greater frequency than my old Dad. I'm not hooked, but I probably smoke one or two a month.

The trip to Turkey started me thinking back over the 20+ years since my Dad's death; Turkey is the source of meerschaum, the Holy Grail of tobacco pipe materials. The idea hatched that I should look for a real meerschaum pipe in Turkey, and so I did. I also picked up a pack of my old Dad's favourite tobacco, St. Bruno, at duty free in Heathrow.

Since then, I've learned to smoke the pipe properly; the art of packing, lighting, smoking, cleaning and enjoying a tobacco pipe is actually something it takes a while to learn. But it's a tradition that will die within a generation unless some people make an effort to keep it alive. When did you last see anyone under 60 smoke a pipe?

Why should this tradition not die? There are lots of reasons: smoking a pipe is the very best way to enjoy tobacco. A pipe smokes cool, allowing you to enjoy the flavour and aroma of tobacco unspoilt by burning, hot smoke. A pipe is an intensely personal possession, one that you will come to treasure over time, that becomes part of you. Pipes can be extinguished and relit at will - perfect for the modern, don't smoke here, don't smoke there, world. Fresh pipe smoke smells delicious.

Yes, I'm a contrary old bugger, and as Doggerelle would say, an old fart. But it's worth it, because I would like my children and grandchildren to remember the same visceral things as I remember from my Dad, taken away though he was far too soon. Smells, tastes, textures, these are things that lie deep in memory, and the whiff of St. Bruno does more than any photograph to resurrect the man.

Traditions are traditions for a reason, and we are poorer whenever we lose them. And now, I'm off to the front porch for a smoke. Happy Father's Day

Global Warming Kills Nestle Marketing Effort

Here at TDPC headquarters, we don't receive much mail in the old fashioned, Canada Post kind of way. This is partly because we're very hitech and have online billing for most services, online banking, paperless this and virtual that. It's also because rural mail carriers, and ours in particular, seem to be taking the law into their own hands when it comes to dealing with high gas prices and only dropping by on days they feel like it.

However, the planets and stars did align sufficiently one day last week, and we did receive a piece of mail, from Nestle Canada, assisted by Shoppers Drug Mart. This mailing is a slick, glossy marketing brochure for a new kind of Nestle chocolate: Nestle Noir. It's an attempt to cash in on the trend toward more premium chocolate products, with a 70% cocoa offering. Hershey is doing the same thing, although much too little and too late.

The fun part is that enclosed in the glossy mailer was a square of the new Nestle Noir 70% cocoa chocolate. Now, it was about 29 degrees Celsius here on the day the mailing arrived. Here's the instructions provided by Nestle for enjoying their chocolate. I'll leave it to you to decide how this might turn out in 29 degree weather:
  • With a square of the chocolate in hand, rub it between your fingers to release the oils and take in the intense cocoa aroma.
  • Take a bite and let the chocolate melt on your tongue for 20 seconds, allow it to cover your palate.
  • Let your senses savour the moment.
Somebody ought to connect Nestle marketing with a weather report and climate statistics for Eastern Ontario at this time of year.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Just Because You Can't Prove It

You may not be able to prove someone's a complete moonbat, but it doesn't mean they're not.


Introducing this summer's must-wear item for the younger followers of the Doggerel Party:

Doggerel Boy's attire supplied by

While on the subject, Doggerette (still not quite 4, but getting realllllly close... it's 9 more days, sweetie), commenting on the seemingly endless parade of whiny people that populate the CBC Ottawa morning show:

"Blah, blah, blah, blah, everything."

I think that covers it pretty well.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

McGuinty To Auto Workers: You Are Not Alone

Ontario premier Dalton McGuinty vows that the workers from GM's truck plant in Oshawa will not be abandoned should GM succeed in going ahead with plans to close the plant.

"Those workers should be assured that they will not be alone," says McGuinty. "My government is busy ensuring that they will be joined by thousands of others. We've already had 500 jobs go in Smiths Falls with the closure of the Hershey plant; we're losing jobs in the furniture industry, Chrysler is closing a plant in Windsor. My government is committed to ensuring that thousands of other workers will be standing by the GM employees as they register for EI."

Questioned about the success of his now five year old administration's economic policies, McGuinty claimed great success. "Our tax and spend plan is proving highly successful, and I am sure that we will soon be returning the province to the glory days of the Bob Rae administration."

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Mystery Illness Strikes Torontonians

Authorities are investigating a sudden outbreak of an acute respiratory disorder in the Beaches-East York area of Toronto last night. TDPC correspondents report that a large number of people in that area reported shortness of breath, coughing and choking sensations at around 8:45pm on Monday 2nd June.

Public health officials, speaking on condition of anonymity, told TDPC they believe the outbreak may have been caused by a massive cloud of smug released in the area at around the same time.

One official told TDPC "This was a massive release. The level of hypocrisy reached dangerous levels almost instantly. It is not surprising that most ordinary people had their breath taken away."

This HRC Tidbit Smells Like a Rat

So, the corgis were following along the live-blogging of Andrew Coyne yesterday - and so much has already been said about the farce taking place in BC that really, what can we add? - but noticed this tempting tidbit from Tarek Fatah in the comments:
two of the Human Rights Commissioners who sat in on the Barabara Hall decsion to convict Macleans without a trial, were pals and associates of Elmasry, and had worked with the Canadain Islamic Congress at difefrent levels. One of them is a supporter of Ayatullah Khomeini, but managed to convince the mCguinty govt to appoint him on the commission.
Naturally, ears pricked up and whiskers began to twitch at that juicy little morsel.

One of the members of the OHRC is Ghulam Abbas Sajan. His biography on the OHRC site describes him as "An active member of the Shi’a Islamic Community [and a former] president of the Jaffari Islamic Centre." Is Sajan one of those Tarek Fatah is talking about? We don't know for sure.

However, a little sniffing around Google did yield the interesting factoid that Sajan is involved with another "Human Rights" organization, but one considerably less savoury than the OHRC, if you can bend your mind around that concept for one second.

The organization in question is the "Citizens Commission on Human Rights" which is an international body with local organizations in many countries. Sajan is a "Commissioner" which means he is a member of the Board of Advisors of the CCHR. The CCHR is, in its own words:
...a non-profit public benefit organization that investigates and exposes psychiatric violations of human rights.
Their site is devoted to anti-psychiatry propaganda. Some memory stirs... what other international organization is vehemently opposed to the profession of psychiatry, and devoted to debunking the use of pharmaceuticals to treat mental illness?

Dig a little deeper, and we find that the Board of Advisors contains many actors and other celebrities known to be members of a certain 'church'; dig further and we find that many of the international web addresses of the CCHR are co-hosted or share the same DNS registration of that absolute bastion of Human Rights, the Church of Scientology. Yes, the CCHR is a front organization of the Church of Scientology.

Now, either Sajan has some squaring to do, explaining his participation in a Scientology front organization in the context of Shi'a Islam, or he was duped.

Either way, I'm not feeling my confidence in the OHRC growing any right now.