Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Exclusive: Unseen Iggy Forest Footage

TDPC operatives have been sniffing around the cutting room floor in Warren Kinsella's basement (incidentally, where is Warren these days? He's awfully quiet, suddenly - but we digress) and found what appears to be the next Liberal television spot.

In this one, Michael Ignatieff introduces a couple of his ministers-in-waiting. Decent, decent people.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

The Liberals, the CHRC and Warren Kinsella foretold

"The principle that the end justifies the means is in individualist ethics regarded as the denial of all morals. In collectivist ethics it becomes necessarily the supreme rule."

Friedrich Hayek

-- Post From My iPhone

Friday, September 25, 2009

Liberals Irate Over Government Advertising

The Liberal Party is furious over what they say is partisan advertising being paid for by taxpayer dollars.

It is completely outrageous that none of this taxpayer money is finding its way via brown envelopes into Liberal party coffers. What else is the point of government advertising?

It is not known if Liberal Party strategists are again demanding that Chuck Guite be placed in charge of advertising programs.

Warren Kinsella is 49.

-- Post From My iPhone

Curiouser and Curiouser

Rick Salutin of the Globe and Mail on Michael Ignatieff:
It's not the same as egomania, which can work in politics. Egomania requires you to be aware of others in order to dominate or manipulate them. With narcissism, you barely notice them, you bask in your own presence and assume everyone does.
Robert Fulford of the National Post on Jean Chrétien in 2002:
But there was one odd thing about his conversation. In 90 minutes or so, no one, no matter how hard they tried, could get him off the subject of Jean Chrétien. It was the only topic that interested him and he seemed to believe sincerely that it obsessed everyone else as much as it did him. At that moment, since he was so far removed from power, his enormous ego was no more than a psychological curiosity.

When he left the room, the people at our table chuckled over his narcissism. Someone said that lunch was one thing, but being with him for much longer would be unendurable.
And therefore can we be surprised to find Warren Kinsella on his three favorite subjects - himself, Jean Chrétien, and Michael Ignatieff:
But I'm going to defend Iggy as vigorously as I defended JC. And, moreover, I'm pretty good at finding people, when I'm focussed.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Thursday Morning

Sweet. Sweeter. Sweetest.

Oh, to be a fly on the wall in the Kinsella household this morning. Tories knocking on the door in T.O., Warren's hated Big Tobacco exposed in the midst of the Liberal party, and dearest friend Richard in a spot of Human Rights Bother himself.

It's a beautiful, beautiful day.

BONUS TRACK: How's that purple dinosaur working for you now?

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Aftersnark

Duh. Just occured to me why Iggy doesn't think today's economic news matters to Canadians. Nobody's explained to him what Tim Hortons is.

They didn't have them in his country.


-- Post From My iPhone

Question for Michael Ignatieff

Does Bloc-NDP-Liberal coalition leader Michael Ignatieff agree with his chef de guerre that the idea that the Canadian economy is important makes him want to "yak"?

-- Post From My iPhone

Let ME Get THIS Straight

A webmaster hosts anti-semitic material. A serial complainer runs to his HRC cash machine. The webmaster removes the material and seeks mediation, but the complainer and his friends and former co-workers pursue a punitive witch-hunt in any case. The punitive nature of this is found to be unconstitutional, and a Liberal party hack is bitterly disappointed.

The same Liberal party hack is proud to call the man who wrote this: "Did you know we had an election and the new cabinet hasn't been named yet? We still have [Jewish] scum in government but we have to wait and see which scum goes where." his friend.

And yet again, the same Liberal party hack defended and advised the sock-puppets of the virulently anti-Semitic Mohammed Al-Masry in their own little witch-hunt of Maclean's magazine and Mark Steyn.

If you're confused, you should be.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Is Doggerelle Junior a Closet Liberal?

5 year old, this morning:

"Daddy, I like your chequebook."


-- Post From My iPhone

Friday, September 18, 2009

Elephant "Lucy" Will Not Be Moved

The world of human rights has been rocked to its foundations in recent days by the controversy over an aging white elephant known as "Lucy". The animal, a member of the endangered species freeloadus warmani, has for many years been a key attraction at the zoo that is the Canadian Human Rights Commission. Recently, however, Lucy's age, coupled with changing trends in the legal world of section 13 complaints has had some questioning whether Lucy should be moved to a cosy retirement far from the public eye.

Experts consulted by TDPC reporters working on this story were divided on the question of retiring Lucy. One man, who gave his name only as 'Warren' told TDPC:
It really wouldn't be fair to Lucy to retire her at this time. She's so used to feeding at the trough of hate speech complaints that weaning her off them is going to be seriously detrimental to her health. And I really don't buy these trendy ideas about freedom of expression that the other side is coming up with. We have been building a long tradition in this country of state control over thought and opinion and I think that's done Lucy a lot of good. We'll see that this free speech thing is just a fad and it will be back to business as usual very soon. My friend Michael's against free speech and he's never wrong about anything.
On the other side, many point to Lucy's declining years and diminished mental capacity, and argue that she probably hasn't long to live in any case. People are no longer flocking to bogus human rights circuses to watch show animals like Lucy, and the tide of public opinion does seem to be turning against them. For the time being, however, it looks as though Lucy is planning to stay put against all the odds.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Just Fancy That

Globe and Mail, September 17th, 2009:
The Liberals say they will continue to do everything within their power to bring the Harper government down. A new pre-election television ad, in both French and English, will be released this weekend. It will be the Liberal's third television ad in as many weeks.
Globe and Mail, September 17th, 2009:
The four parties in the House of Commons are nearing a deal to fast track the government's new employment-insurance legislation and put it to its first vote as early as Friday.

Government House Leader Jay Hill invited his Liberal, NDP and Bloc Québécois counterparts to a closed door meeting just after noon to discuss the government bill, which was officially introduced in the House of Commons Wednesday afternoon.

The Liberals announced Thursday morning that they are offering to pass the bill quickly..
MEMO

TO: Warren Kinsella, Chief Ass Kicker
FROM: Michael Ignatieff, Visiting Professor
SUBJECT: Fall Election

Dear Warren,

I'm sorry, I was only kidding.

Love,
M

Saturday, September 12, 2009

We Can Do Better

So says coalition leader Iggy's first ad of the campaign.

At his press conference last week Iggy revealed how - he can compromise.

Isn't compromise by definition second best?

Oh, and Warren Kinsella is a bare faced liar.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Close To Home: An All Too Familiar Story

The long reach of the pernicious Human Rights Commissions has extended to the corgis' doorstep. Today's Ottawa Citizen carries the story of a Carleton Place man who is taking a local food store to the Ontario Human Rights Tribunal because, he claims, they asked him not to bring his teacup chihuahua into the store. According to Alex Allarie, the complainant, this animal is a service dog for his anxiety and depression.

The former owners of the Granary in Carleton Place, Keith and Leslie Rouble, who have since sold the business in part because of the stress of dealing with the Human Rights Industry machine and Mr. Allarie, recall that the complainant was aggressive, abusive and threatening, to the point that police were called at one point. But that doesn't weigh much against his 'Human Right' to let the chihuahua prowl around a bulk food store.

This case is patently ludicrous. The dog isn't a service animal by any rational or legal test that I can think of. The corgis have even made the point, quite fairly perhaps, that it really shouldn't even be described as a dog, let alone a service dog. The sight of an aggressive, abusive, hulking great guy carrying such a beast is cause for ridicule, not much else.

Mr. Allarie's aggressive behaviour and tenacity in following this up for the last four years are also not the acts of anyone suffering from severe depression and anxiety. If he's capable of pursuing this vendetta he's clearly capable of everyday life, with or without the pathetic prop in question. He may indeed be mentally ill, rather than what my mother would have called a nasty piece of work, but I rather doubt the depression is the issue here.

Once again, the petty bureaucrats of the HRCs pursue the ordinary, hard working small business owner over a trumped up, bogus cause. This is such a gross abuse of real human rights and such an immoral use of government money it's hard to find words. Except these: Fire. Them. All.

Footnote: The tribunal hearing is December 1. If you can find it in your heart or wallet to contribute to the Rouble's legal costs, please click the donate button up top, and mark the donation 'Granary' and I will see the help gets to them.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Exclusive: PM is a Conservative

TDPC operatives recently infiltrated and recorded a top-secret meeting of Conservatives in some place nobody has ever heard of, where Stephen Harper spoke in code to a carefully chosen audience of undercover agents and sleeper cells.

The shocking details are now leaking, rather like bilge-water, all over the internet.

Listen as Harper MENTIONS the hitherto unknown plan to abolish the long-gun registry.
Be astonished as Harper SAYS that Liberals might appoint left-leaning judges.
Be amazed as Harper ADMITS having eliminated the Court Challenges Program.
Gape as Harper APPEALS for a majority government.

Top Liberal strategist Warren Kinsella appears to have been caught off-guard by the remarks. In a post to his widely read blog web site he is both shockingly outraged and outrageously shocked by the revelation that the Prime Minister is a Conservative.

In related news, a sharp eyed corgi has noticed a sudden rise in demand for purple stuffed dinosaurs, perhaps giving a clue to Liberal campaign strategy for election 2009. If this is indeed indicative of the Liberal plan, it will represent a radical shift for the Liberals, who have never yet attempted to smear the Conservatives with accusations of a hidden agenda, harboring Nazis, BushHarper, scary farmers with rabbit shooting guns, etc. There can be little doubt that the genius of Kinsella lies behind this innovative new campaigning style.

Friday, September 04, 2009

Meanwhile

At TDPC HQ, the corgis are driven to a frenzy by Kinsella's saber-rattling over a fall election:







Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before

An American, two Frenchmen and a Canadian walk into a bar....

... and decide to replace the democratically elected government of Canada.

Then a chameleon says it didn't happen.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Ka........

.... no ching for Warman this time. Casino-Warman has run dry. He'll have to make do on the miserly stipend he gets from his other job at DND.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Liberal Math Lesson 32 : Symbolic Logic

Up until now, boolean variables have had two values, TRUE or FALSE.

Now, Michael Ignatieff has given us a third logic state. MAYBE.

This new logic state is believed only to exist in rarefied atmospheres and at high Liberal concentrations. In these conditions, it is both possible to not support the minority government, but also to enable that government not to fall. Similarities between this and the so-called Dion Paradox are striking.

This towering achievement brought to you by the Emeritus Professor of American Studies at the Kinsella School of Disgrace.

Wot No Apology?

So today we remember a group of young children, forcibly removed from their homes by the government, sent to live miles away in the care of complete strangers. Taken away from their families, their own culture, their own spirituality, their own environment. Some were put to work by their new guardians. There was abuse, loneliness, despair and misery and none of these children knew where it would end.

So how come they're not asking for millions in compensation and an apology? How come they're not completely defined by this event and reduced to snivelling, whining shadows of their former selves? Strange eh?