Friday, November 28, 2008

The Liberal Party School Of Gaining Political Power

Lesson 1 : The War Room

Lesson 2 : Invoke the spectre of religious and ethnic differences, sow fear and distrust between different communities and act innocent when someone notices a racist election campaign has just been fought.

Lesson 3 : See above: Act innocent when a party hack has been noticed defrauding the government and diverting the money to party coffers.

Lesson 4 : All that argument and debate can be very tiring. How about using government thought police to target your political opponents and just shut them up. Call it 'hate' and prosecute their asses.

Lesson 5 : Who needs elections anyway? Just take power already.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

A Suggestion For A Pledge By Aged Washed Up 1970s Lefty Hacks

We pledge to quit whining, stop requesting fraudsters be placed in charge of government sponsorship contracts and start fundraising.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Recession Bites Harder In Ottawa

As fears grow of a widening global recession, what of the people on the street, those ordinary working families so beloved of Jack Layton. What of the kitchen tables they will soon be burning to keep warm? It's not as if they'll need them anyway, there being no food to put on them.

TDPC recently caught up with one such ordinary Canadian, and asked him how he sees his future. We'll call him 'Richard'. Until recently, Richard has enjoyed a good standard of living with a stable and reliable stream of what he described as freelance cleaning jobs. Richard had found his niche as an online cleaner, removing dirt and filth from the Internet. He'd cleaned up all around, in fact, both literally and figuratively.

But now, Richard says, his major client and major source of income has been commissioning reports into the quality of his cleaning work, and those reports have cast into doubt on not only the standard of his work, but also the very need for it. Richard sees his income beginning to dry up.

What might someone like Richard need to do to ride out this next recession? Experts we spoke to suggested that there might really be only one option - emigrate to Zimbabwe, where people like Richard and his friend Warren are still in very high demand.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Immunity For All

In keeping with MAD's suggestion, we have revised the name of this blog to avoid Kinsella, Lucy, and Jenny Lynch-mob.

I seem to remember that not everyone likes doG (peace and blessings upon him) but we do. Immunity for Corgis!