Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The Book Of Harper, Chapter One

And it came to pass in those days that there was war in the lands of Israel and Lebanon. The Hamas-ites and Hezbollah-ites smote the Israelites and stealeth away with three of them. Seeing this, the Israel-ites waxeth furious and smote right back. And the leaders of the world were sorely vexed and waveth their arms, saying one to another, "Oh no, not again," And many of them called upon the Israel-ites to cease their smiting for lo, there was collateral damage.

But the leader of the Canada-ites, Harp-er, standeth steadfast by the side of the Israelites and praiseth the measure of their response.

When they heard this, the Global-ites, the Mail-ites and the Star-ites were angered and they rose up, saying, "Yea, this shall cost the Harp-er votes, see if it doeth not." And the great Leader of the Liberal-ites also riseth, saying "Wherefore abandoneth Harper the role of honest broker?"

And the multitude of the Gallery of the Press threateneth Harp-er, saying "Wherefore wilt thou not give us bites of sound, or answereth our questions? Wilt thou not throw us a frick-in bone?" But Harper leadeth onward and heedeth them not. "Then shall we smite thee in the Med-ia," sayeth the Gallery, but their threats were empty, for the People simply yawneth.

And the assembly of the Canada-ites heareth all and wondered among themselves saying "What manner of Leader hath we elected, who heedeth not the Polls of Opinion." And Harper's stock raiseth higher with the People.