Here at Doggerel Party Headquarters, Doggerelle does all the ironing. I mention this partly to enrage any visiting feminists, but mostly because it's true. She does all the ironing, not because we are reactionary neo-conservatives with a hidden agenda to chain all women to the kitchen (barefoot and pregnant, naturally) - although of course we are - but because she's good at it.
I can iron a shirt. Really, I can. I learned to iron in the Royal Navy, which means my technique is measured, meticulous and above all, very, very slow. Painfully slow and awkward, according to Doggerelle. She can't bear to watch. Any attempt on my part to do any ironing is met with an exasperated 'give it here' within about two minutes.
This is because it's always painful to watch someone fumbling a job. No doubt you can think of hundreds of examples when you've wanted to step in and say 'give it here'. And now is one of those times for Canada's New Government.
Gordon O'Connor's Department of Defence is a little like my ironing board. He's getting the job done, and (being the reactionary neo-cons that we are) I don't personally have any sympathy with Taliban detainees or the professors that shill for them. However, the fumbling, confusion and general disorganization of this week has been truly embarrassing. In politics, it's not enough to iron the shirt, you have to do it quickly, cleanly, and with panache, just like Doggerelle. Mr. O'Connor has treated us to a tangled mess of creased fabric this week, and all in the very public glare of an unsympathetic media.
While Mr. O'Connor undoubtedly has the knowledge and expertise to very ably run the Department of National Defence, watching the politics of the last week in particular and few weeks in general has had me gritting my teeth. I think it's time Mr. O'Connor yielded the ironing board to someone who, like Doggerelle, will not only iron out the creases, but sparkle in the process.
UPDATE: To those wondering about the corgis, they would like it to be known that they are willing, but ironing is difficult with paws. However, they would like to offer to provide very, very, very close up monitoring of Taliban detainees. With their teeth.