Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Have You Seen This Man?

The people of Ontario need your help in finding a missing person. Dalton McGuinty has not been seen for several weeks. It is believed he may be suffering from amnesia and has probably forgotten that he is the premier of Ontario. Medical sources report that such attacks are common in weak-nerved individuals when confronted with issues that require actual leadership rather than bland platitudes.

Since such a situation has arisen in Caledonia, Ontario, it is possible that McGuinty is currently in hiding until Ontarians stop noticing that there are currently two sets of laws in operation in the province; one for native protestors and one for everyone else.

If you see this man, please contact authorities, because he surely isn't going to. McGuinty may safely be approached as he is believed to be unarmed and highly ineffective. However, if startled, or if he smells controversy, McGuinty will run for cover.