Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Corgis Sniff Out Top Secret Court Papers

Doggerel Party of Canada Exclusive! Divorce proceedings obtained by corgis, published here for the first time, ably assisted by Neo.

Ontario Family Court
Divorce Complaint

Plaintiff : Reality

Defendant: University of Toronto


1. Plaintiff states: My name is Reality. I have lived in most of the known world for the majority of history. In common with most academic institutions I had entered into a marital relationship with the University of Toronto, Toronto, Ontario Canada. We separated some time ago with the introduction of such programs as the Sexual Diversity Program.

2. Reality alleges that the relationship has now suffered irreparable breakdown. The University has begun to behave erratically in recent months with bizarre and capricious episodes of nonsensical policy making becoming more and more frequent.

3. University has now come to believe that removing a legitimate sporting club from its campus, that has operated for nearly a century without injury to anyone will in some way contribute to a lessening of gun violence in the City of Toronto.

4. Reality therefore believes that the University has entered into an extra marital relationship with person(s) unknown, but definitely not related to Reality.

5. Reality requests the Court to grant a full decree of Divorce as soon as possible in order that both Reality and the University may leave their relationship behind and move forward with their own lives.