Winchefter, July 9th, 1026. A Dark Agef Timef Exclufive: Meeting in a two day feffion, His Majefty King Cnut The Great'f Knightf Of The Figure Eight have today iffued a ftatement on the movement of the tidef. Ye Knightf have determined that from henceforth the tidef fhall no longer be permitted to rife by more than two inchef daily. Hif Majefty haf been advifed to command thif and therefore it fhall be, by hif royal decree.
Hif Majefty if expected to begin hif tide reduction program immediately, by the placement of hif throne by the fhore, when hif fupreme and regal greatneff will caufe the tide to be ftayed.