The National Post column of Warren Kinsella has died. It was, ... oh, who honestly cares how old it was?
Removal crews are expected at National Post headquarters next week to begin trucking away stacks of unused headlines, some of which are expected to be auctioned off at Liberal fundraising dinners in the future (your auction bid is not considered a donation, no limits, ahem, ahem, nudge, nudge, see you round the back door later with the envelope).
Prime examples:
WHY TIT-FUCK ME JESUS IS NOT OFFENSIVE BUT ANYTHING EZRA SAYS IS
WHY WHEN I COMPARE KEITH MARTIN TO A NAZI IT'S OK BUT IF YOU DO IT TO ME I'LL SUE YOUR ASS
WHY WHEN EZRA SUES SOMEONE IT'S LIBEL CHILL BUT WHEN I DO IT IT'S DIFFERENT
WHY LIBERALS STEALING TAXPAYERS MONEY IS OK (100 copies available)
NOTICE ME, DAMMIT
WHY MEN WITH CAMERAS IN BOYS BATHROOMS ARE AWESOME BUT 8 YEAR OLD'S GRAFFITI THREATENS THE FABRIC OF CANADA (with free 'through the bathroom stall' movie clips)
WHY I LOVE THE SMELL OF JEAN CHRETIEN IN THE MORNING
- that's enough headlines - Ed.
The loss of the column has been greeted with alarm by some dog trainers, who say they will now have to train their pets to defecate on another columnist's work. Owners are advised to print Kinsella blog posts in the interim to help their animals adjust.
The food processing industry reacted favourably, however, with a spokesperson saying that consumers could now rest easy knowing their breakfast cereals were guaranteed not to be repackaged in recycled Kinsella.
Shares in manufacturers of personalized golf-balls were up in early trading.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Obituary
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
RSS Feed
4 comments:
Man Kinsella was like a perpetual ridicule machine - he never ceased to provide us with a steady source of risible commentary. We have suffered a great loss and will have to seek out alternative sources of bloviation.
I seriously think Kinsella does it to get a good chuckle back at the car because his thoughts just are not cogent, or maybe he has a serious psychological issues.
I considered much before posting because I sincerely don't expect you to give a damn about my opinion on the matter, but I find it horrendously offensive that you have posted the name of Jesus in such a disguting vile sentence. Is there really a need or a point to that???? It amazes me that there are so few limits to what people will write or say in the name of humour.
Please excuse the spelling in the preceeding e-mail. (should read: **disgusting**)
Post a Comment