Monday, June 15, 2009

Election Fever Pandemic

The Canadian Press today declared the recent outbreak of Election Fever a pandemic. A spokesman said that the outbreak, which initially began with a handful of election threats from particularly virulent Liberal bloggers, has now become widespread and begun to infect even mainstream media.

The spread has begun to grow exponentially, as Liberals issue threats of more threats of more threats. Today, in a much awaited announcement, Liberal/NDP/BQ Coalition leader Michael Ignatieff threatened that if the government did not cave into previously threatened threats, he would threaten them again - not definitely, but he was certainly threatening to.

However, some experts believe that Election Fever is not particularly dangerous and is unlikely, despite its name, to result in any actual Elections. A leading expert told TDPC, "No Liberal threat has actually triggered an election for years. Canadians should simply observe sensible precautions, avoid Warren Kinsella - or wash thoroughly if contact is unavoidable - and go back to their barbecues until hockey starts again.